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    How To Keep Your Promises

    la principessa
    la principessa
    عضــو شــرف
    عضــو شــرف


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    تاريخ التسجيل : 21/06/2007

    How To Keep Your Promises Empty How To Keep Your Promises

    مُساهمة من طرف la principessa الأربعاء 16 يونيو 2010 - 20:18

    Building trust based relationships, either professional or personal,
    is a really big thing. It can propel your career or your life if you
    can do it, and it can sink them if you can’t. I believe that one of the
    most important ingredients for building these kinds of relationships is
    keeping your promises.


    When you consistently keep you promises, you essentially align what
    you say you will do with what you truly do, and people know that they
    can rely on you. This is of course, easier said than done. Here are
    some of they key points I discovered can help you visibly improve the
    rate of promises you keep.


    1. Acknowledge your slip-ups in this area.

    Counter-intuitively, most people often break their promises because
    they believe they are very good at keeping their promises. This
    inaccurate self-image creates a huge blind spot, which does not allow
    them to notice the situations when they don’t keep their promises, so
    they can’t really address them.


    This is why a good starting point is to assume that you often break
    you promises, and to start consciously looking at they way you relate
    to other people, to notice when this is the case. As you start looking
    for these slip-ups, you will start to see them. Getting awareness about
    when they manifest, with whom, is the first big step in getting rid of
    them.


    2. Think twice before you promise.

    It’s funny how a
    lot of people have problems related to lack of self-confidence, but
    when in comes to making promises, they have the opposite kind: they’re
    over-confident in what they can do, and they promise too much. Braking
    promises is usually not the result of bad intent; it is the result of
    this.


    It’s very important that you realize you have limited time, energy,
    skills and resources, and as much as you would like to, you probably
    can’t do it all. Keep this in mind every time you’re getting ready to
    promise something, and ask yourself:
    Can I really keep this promise I want to make?
    If the answer is not a definite “yes”,

    then don’t make that promise. Instead, promise something less, something different, or don’t promise at all.


    3. Learn to say no.

    One thing I’ve realized is that
    often, we sort of trap ourselves into promising more than we can or we
    want to do, because we have a problem with saying no. Someone asks us
    for some help, we know they have high expectations of us, and we just
    can’t make ourselves emotionally to betray those expectations, by
    saying no.


    To get this handled, there is a very important mental leap you must
    take: to realize that you can’t and you don’t have to please everybody.
    When you fully embrace this idea, you feel more freedom to not live to
    everybody’s expectations, and to not be there for everybody. Which
    makes it easier for you to resist from making promises you can’t or
    don’t want to fulfill.


    4. Make slip-ups meaningful for you.

    When people
    break a promise, even if they do realize this, they often quickly
    forget about it and as a result, this experience does nothing to
    enforce their tendency to keep promises. It’s easy to keep saying one
    thing and doing another, when your mind thinks it’s no problem.


    This is the reason why if you want to drastically increase you
    promise keeping rate, you need to change this thinking. You need to
    make slipups a visible moral mistake in your head, which you completely
    acknowledge, to yourself and others involved. And to do this, you make
    integrity and keeping your promises a top value for yourself. You decide it to be very important for you.


    Keeping promises and having integrity sound like things which are
    easy to master. But they are actually some of the hardest people skills
    to master. As you consciously and systemically work at improving your
    promise keeping skills, you will see some impressive changes in the
    quality of your relationships.

      الوقت/التاريخ الآن هو الجمعة 29 مارس 2024 - 7:46